Haunted
by alittlenutjob
Summary: Okay, so you'll have to forgive the hastiness of this, it was spawned from a tumblr discussion that pointed out that we could always use some more post Be Cool breakup angst and bad decisionmaking. I'm not as good at Mindy-angst, but this is her story, really. Many thanks to smapdi for her betaskills. Music: Haunted, Beyoncé


**Answer your phone you son of a bitch.**

Mindy hit send. She'd called him twice already, and gone straight to voicemail. Twice. The fucking coward couldn't even even let it ring so she could pretend he was asleep.

_Go to sleep Mindy._

She was about two bottles of wine and an Alanis Morrisette album into her Friday night and she was damned if she was going to let him blow her off. He blew off her feelings once, and you know what, fuck him, he was going to listen to her right fucking now.

**Peter told me everything.**

_Mindy, 2am calls never end well. Sleep it off._

**If you think I won't come over and scream your building down you're wrong. We both know I will do it. Answer the phone.**

_Can we talk about this tomorrow? I think we should talk in person._

**You're right. I'm coming over.**

She heard the phone buzz in her hoodie pocket, a response that was too little, too late. He'd had his chance to settle this over the phone. She took a long hard look in the mirror and a flicker of doubt crossed her face. She'd been crying and she looked like it. She needed to put her face back on.

Makeup had always felt like the polish on her armor, something that boosted her confidence, something that in a strange way showed the world that SHE decided what to show them, SHE was in control. She'd always been an angry crier, which for some reason made stupid cowards think they shouldn't take her anger seriously. Just because she was crying, didn't mean she wasn't ready for the fight.

Mindy pulled on her sneakers, twisted her hair up, and began to remove the smeared eyeliner, the tired lipstick smudged by a wine bottle brought too often to her lips. It felt like only a moment, but she must have been staring at her now-bare face for some time because she heard a tentative knock. "Min?"

His voice was quiet and low, and it resonated with something deep inside - her sorrow at the loss of probably the greatest friendship in her life; her embarrassment at having been left, again; the smouldering anger that sparked back to life tonight the moment Peter told her that Danny had moved on. Every muscle in Mindy's body contracted. Fight or flight.

The second knock sealed the deal. Fight.

She swung the door open and hissed at him. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I texted. I told you I was coming." Danny looked tired. It was late, of course, but he looked more than tired. Resigned. Possibly defeated.

"No, I told you I was going to your place."

"You know what, it doesn't matter. You wanted to talk, I'm here."

"It does matter. It does matter. You didn't want me to come over because you had someone over already."

"What?"

"Are you fucking her?"

Danny's mouth set in a grim line and he shook his head. "You're being ridiculous."

"That's not a no." She turned away from the door, and didn't even look back to see if he was going to follow her into the apartment. Righteous fury boiled in her stomach as she crossed the room to stand next to the spiral staircase, getting a little distance between them and getting as far away from her bedroom and the memories that lingered there as possible. "I knew it. I knew you never fucking wanted me."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you banging Peter's sister."

Something like panic flashed across Danny's face. "How do you know about that?"

Mindy's heart dropped so fast she thought she might puke. Bile rose in her throat as she leaned against the rail behind her and tried to breathe deeply. Every movement felt like slow motion, every thought too sluggish, even the light dimmer now, like she was under water. When she spoke, it was barely a whisper and it wasn't even a question. "It's true."

"Mindy." Danny stepped closer, reached out, hand hovering over her shoulder as if in any world he might be able to comfort her right now. All of the anger she'd been counting on to get her through this moment - the moment she knew for a fact that Danny was never ever going to love her the way she loved him - just dried up and blew away like ashes. There wasn't anything left now but the emptiness.

"Please leave. Surely you remember how to do that. You've done it before." The tears threatened to fall, but she opened her eyes wide to try and hold them off for just another moment, just long enough to get him away from her. He'd had every single tear he was ever going to get from Mindy Lahiri.

"I need to explain..." he began.

She shook her head angrily. "I don't need to you explain anything. I get it."

"What do you get? There's nothing to get." She could see the red creeping into his face, the resigned look he'd worn since he stepped through the door giving way now to indignation.

Good, let him get indignant. She could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to turn this around on her, trying to make this situation somehow not his fault. For a man who spent his entire life chased by the ghosts of his father's mistakes he was the man all over again, first to leave, last to accept blame. "You want to know what the real Castellano Curse curse is? You're so fucking afraid of getting hurt you don't care who else gets hurt when you run away."

The color drained from his face and she knew she'd gone too far. He was too close, and she could see the tremor in his hand, the way his nostrils flared, the way his eyes sparked. She felt so fucking weak; her first reaction was wish she could it back, wish she could do anything to make sure he never had to feel hurt like he was feeling right now ever again.

Then he kissed her. He crushed his lips against hers with bruising force, his tongue seeking a way into her mouth as his hands found her the curves of her ass and pulled her tight against him. The unexpected fierceness of the kiss and the familiarity of him sent electricity jolting through her body, beginning between her legs, spreading like fire as her body betrayed her, nipples drawing tight almost instantly. His hands were in her panties before she snapped out of it, shoving him away hard, the sound of her open hand striking his left cheek ringing through the quiet apartment.

She'd struck more out of surprise than anger, but he looked instantly ashamed. With shaking breaths she drew herself back together. "What are you doing?"

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry." Mindy spat scornfully. "You say that an awful lot, then you keep hurting me anyway."

"No, Mindy, I'm sorry for all of it. I didn't leave because I was afraid I'd get hurt." Danny looked away, but she swore she could see the tell-tale glitter of tears in his eyes, bringing back the memory of the last time they were in this apartment alone. "I was afraid I'd hurt you. And that I'd keep hurting you."

Why couldn't she turn this off? She didn't want to, but her heart fucking ached for him, a hollow opening in her own chest like an open wound as she watched him blink hard and press the heels of his hands into his eyes. She should be angry. She WAS angry, but it just wasn't enough to eclipse everything else she felt when she was with him. She shook her head to clear it. "You have to stop. You can't throw me away and then tell me you did it for me. And you absolutely can't kiss me like that when I know for a fact there's someone waiting in your bed when you're done with me. I don't know who I feel worse for, her or me. Maybe I should have let you fuck me on the first date. Maybe I'd be the one waiting for you tonight, while you lie to some other woman too stupid to know that you'll never really give yourself to anyone."

It happened so fast that all she caught was the sudden flare behind his eyes before she was pressed against the railing again, his kiss so brutal and hungry that she could taste blood and she didn't even know who bit who, just that his hands were in her hair now and his lips like fire as he tried once again to consume her. This time though, her hands were at his belt, pulling it free and throwing it so hard she heard something smash behind him. She kicked her shoes off as she unzipped his jeans, knuckles grazing him as he moaned right into her mouth. He had her hoodie over her head so quickly that she didn't even catch her breath between the moment his lips left hers and the moment they closed hungrily over her left nipple. That electric current shot through her again, forcing a little cry from her lips as the tightness down in her core gave way to throbbing. She knew that some women could have an orgasm just from nipple stimulation, but she'd never imagined what it could be like. Just as she felt like something was about to uncoil inside her he tore his lips away and her knees almost buckled.

Danny lifted her and desposited her onto the stairs in one quick motion, pulling her jeans and panties off together and throwing them onto the floor behind him. Her whole body trembled, anticipating the return of his lips, but he just stood back and stared at her, his eyes moving slowly up her body. He probably didn't even know he was biting his lip, and his total lack of self-awareness made her feel even more like she was trapped under his stare. She'd never let a man just look, really look at her like this, and with her heart pounding she slid her legs apart slowly, watching his breath flash in his throat, listening as he let out a slow exhalation like a sigh. The throbbing was now a whole body experience and if he hadn't already known how turned on she was, he certainly knew now. "Take off your pants, Danny."

He looked up and met her eyes finally, looking very much like a man caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He pushed his jeans down, boxers too and with both caught just above his knees he leaned down to cover her body with his. She reached down and took him in hand, for the first time getting the measure of him firsthand; the weight, the warmth, the way a little precum made him slicker where she squeezed. She pulled her hand away and licked her fingertips as she cupped his balls with her other hand. His eyes fluttered shut only inches away from her own face and she lifted her mouth to brush his lips with a light kiss, just to make him taste himself on her lips.

He seemed to take that as a cue to return the favor, lowering himself until his head was fully between her thighs, breath hot and almost enough to push her over the edge. He dropped a kiss right at the apex, sucking a little before parting her with his tongue. She sighed and pushed against his lips as the rest of her body relaxed into it. He lapped slowly, using the tip of his tongue to swirl, then switching to a grinding pressure with the flat of his tongue. The changeup in technique shouldn't have worked, but he kept the rhythm building and in a matter of a minute she was writhing against his mouth, on the edge as he reached up and palmed her breast, then squeezed rhythmically, finally pushing her over. He placed a final kiss on each thigh before he lifted his head to meet her eyes again. His burned fiercely, but his whole body was tense with restraint. How did anyone live like this?

"Danny, do you want me? Do you want to fuck me?"

Just as she'd never let a man look at her, she'd never, ever, talked like this. Maybe she'd made a mistake, holding back when they were together, but at the time all she could think of was how badly she'd messed up relationships before by confusing sex with love. She knew now she couldn't have his love, but she was absolutely going to have this.

He didn't reply, and something other than lust touched his expression, but clearly she'd never really known him well enough to know what it was he really wanted. As she reached for him again she found his body ready, and brushing her palm over the head elicited a little grunt of pleasure. She kissed him again, this time deeper, giving him something else to respond to. He pulled away with a little smack as their lips parted. "Mindy I want you. I always wanted you."

Mindy turned onto her hands and knees beneath him, using the stairs to her advantage, her ass in the air, knees spread. "Fuck me, Danny."

She felt his head drop, his hair tickling her back where his forehead touched her and his breath like flame on her skin. He reached under her, his fingers finding her clit and curling in a bit to enter her ever so slightly. As he shifted behind her she felt him finally pressed right at her entrance and as he pushed into her slowly he guided with the hand already there, changing the angle a little as he used three fingers to make broad circles that brushed over her clit and came back down to the spreading warmth between them. She was precariously close to coming again, but he seemed to be concentrating so hard on making her come again that she couldn't tell if he was anywhere near. "Harder," she demanded. Danny paused and she listened as breathed unevenly, then drew back and slammed into her. She clenched around him, it was so perfect. She whispered again. "More."

He took a shuddering breath behind her, and slammed into her again, letting go of whatever it was that made him so careful with her, getting rougher as his rhythm started to falter and he grew close. He panted into her ear like a man being hunted. "I'm gonna come."

"Do it, Danny. Come in me." She barely had the words out before she felt him explode inside her. He slumped against her, breathing hard.

"I love you."

Her heart clenched in her chest and for the second time tonight Mindy thought she might be sick. "Get off me."

"I'm sorry."

Of course. He was sorry. He was always sorry. He wanted her when he could fuck her. And he was sorry. The room spun. "Stop talking. Get your fucking clothes on and get the fuck out of my house."

"Mindy, I didn't mean to say it like that, but I mean it. I love you. I know I screwed everything up, but I mean it."

"Danny, go. I am not going to do this with you. You want me, you don't want me, you fuck me, you love me, and one day...one day you'll just leave me again. I'm not going to do it. Get out."

"Mindy..." His face was a perfect picture of a man defeated, and she had absolutely nothing left to give him. Why hadn't she been able to turn it off earlier, before she'd made this mistake? Why was she so willing to take on his heartache until the moment he said he loved her?

"Danny, answer one question for me. Is Sally Prentice sleeping in your bed right now?"

Pain contorted his features, the truth written all over his face.

"Don't say anything." Mindy stood and began to pick up the clothes distributed across the apartment, anything to stop her from having to meet his eyes at this moment. "This never happened. You and I never happened."

"Min," Her name was barely more than a sob as tears began to fall in earnest.

"Get OUT. GET THE FUCK. OUT. OF MY LIFE." She didn't even know she was crying too until she tasted salt. She had almost made it to the bedroom, but to be honest it hardly mattered if he saw her cry now. She slammed the doors behind her.

Mindy heard the door close quietly behind him. This time, she promised herself, this is the last time.


End file.
